Sex & Dating
6 Questions To Ask On A First Date That Can Help Determine Compatibility
BY GEORGE MOUFARREJ
On a first date, the flow of conversation is a big factor. To avoid those awkward silences and learn more about your level of compatibility, here are six thought-provoking questions to ask your date, according to George Moufarrej, a leading relationship expert and author of the book, “Sexual Euphoria.”
1. What sort of relationship are you looking for and why?
This question is very important because it helps to determine your date’s intentions. The answer will let you know if he/she is seeking casual dating, a long-term relationship, or marriage and children. If your relationship goals differ, this would be your chance to discuss your thoughts and viewpoints. There’s always the possibility of compromise or further analysis on the subject (is it worth it to pursue this person?). However, if you find yourselves in complete disagreement, this insight can prevent you from wasting time and experiencing heartache in the future.
2. What qualities do you like in an ideal partner?
It’s important to learn your date’s preferences. This question can prevent future conflicts and disagreements because you’ll have an idea of your date’s likes and dislikes in a person. Knowing a person’s general turn-ons and turn-offs can indicate your level of compatibility.
3. What would you consider to be an ideal relationship?
This question gives you an idea of how your date expects to be treated, and how they might treat you. If you’re comfortable with his/her response, you might consider going on a second date.
4. What do you love about the dating process?
This clues you in on things you can do to make your date feel comfortable with you and enjoy your presence. For example, if your date enjoys deep conversations, you can plan dates that will allow you to talk for hours with no distractions (for example, walking on the beach). If your date enjoys going to parties and being social at the beginning of the dating process, you can look forward to those activities together. However, if your ideas on the dating process do not align (you love to go out and party, while your date prefers to be in a quiet, one-on-one setting), you may not be a match.
5. What do you hate about the dating process?
This will give you a heads-up on what not to do while dating this person. For example, if your date dislikes small talk or “game-playing,” you’ll know about it.
6. What are your goals in life right now?
One of the first steps to getting to know your date on a deeper level is by learning about his/her values and aspirations. If your goals align well together, it can also strengthen your connection. On the other hand, this question can provide clarification that can make or break the relationship. If your date has serious plans to eventually move to Europe, while your goal is to get married and raise a family in Southern California, you might call that a deal-breaker.